Super Smash Bros Brawly Melee
by Mr. True Man
Summary: Mario finds himself and all of his friends abducted by a mysterious wormhole and brought to a tournament to determine the supreme Nintendo champion. But when the majority of his allies turn their backs on him in favor of Link, the tournament becomes a struggle for survival for Mario, with his enemies and random strangers being his only help.
1. Chapter 1

Super Smash Bros: Brawly Melee

Author's Note: Author Two says "Wow, it's been a long time, Author one. We haven't written one of these stories in a long time." Author one responds "Yeah, I know dude." Author two says "You know what we need to do?" Author one says "What?" Author two says" We need to pour our hearts and souls out. We need to write a story with more humor, character, and perversion than any story yet! My friend, tonight, we are going to write...

**Super Smash Bros: Brawly Melee**

Luigi was busy doing something stupid as usual. This time he was drinking a white sunshine smoothie outside. Today he added some brownies that he found on the ground. He savored the delicious creamy taste and the strangely flavored fudgie goodness of the ground brownies. Suddenly something occurred to Luigi. He sniffed the air, and suddenly let go of the glass, which fell to the ground and shattered, drowning the ants with the glimmering white joy of his drink.

"I sense a disturbance in the force..." he muttered to himself. Suddenly, he jolted into the forest as fast as his little legs could run. He came to a clearing and stood straight as a soldier and gave a salute up towards the sky. Then he spread his arms our and set his feet shoulder length apart.

"MAAAAARIOOOOO!" he shouted up to the high heavens.

A streak suddenly appeared in the sky. And this streak was Mario. Mario was plummeting towards the earth like a meteor. The look on his face was stern and determined. He was getting closer to Luigi. Within a minute he went from a streak in the sky barely visible from the ground to a flaming ball of energy growing ever closer. Luigi came into Mario's view. Luigi was standing still, his arms still outstretched, and his face intense, as if he was still screaming.

"No, Luigi!" Mario shouted, "Get out of the way!"

Luigi heard him, but did not budge. There was nothing Mario could do. Impact was imminent. And so Mario crashed full force directly into Luigi. They started bouncing, causing dirt to fly up each time they hit the ground. Finally they stopped bouncing and found themselves in a crater. They lay there side to side, opposite one another.

"Damn it, Luigi," Mario said, "You do this every time I go on a space mission!"

"Mario, I had so much fun this week! Oh, you won't believe all the things I did!"

"Luigi, I don't want to hear about it right now!"

"Okay, Mario, I'll save it for some other time."

"Oh..." Mario was shocked that Luigi actually listened to him. "So, did anything important happen while I was on my mission?"

"Well, the Princess wants to see you."

"Really? The Princess wants to see me?!" Mario said excitedly. "Luigi, I'm going to the castle! Don't screw anything up!"

And so Mario ran to the castle, extremely excited to see Peach. He opened the door and she was standing there waiting for him.

"Mario!" She exclaimed, "I missed you soooo much!"

"I missed you too, Princess Peach!"

"Come over here and hug me!"

"Oh boy!" Mario said. He ran up to hug her, but just as they were about to embrace Peach got sucked up by a worm hole!

"...What?" Mario was very confused. "...but... she was right there... she was..." Mario realized what this must mean. "Bowser!"

And so Mario ran over to Bowser's castle. He knocked on the door and yelled "Bowser! I've come for the Princess!"

"What?" Bowser yelled from the other side, "I don't have the Princess! I'm taking a bubble bath!"

"I don't believe you! Open up!"

"Fine! Let me get dressed, and I'll show you my whole castle! And you won't see any princesses here!"

"But you never wear clothes anyway!"

"…Shut up!" Bowser opened the door, still dripping with bubbles, and showed Mario around his house like he was giving a tour.

"…and this is my dungeon… this is my secret fetish room that I installed after I read Fifty Shades of Gray… and finally, here is my throne room."

"So, Peach really isn't here…" Mario pondered, "Where could she be?"

"I don't know, but she's not here! So if you could kindly—" Suddenly, a wormhole opened up and Bowser was sucked up too!

"Damn!" said Mario, "I guess I better go ask around to find some leads. This is weird!"

And so Mario ran into Yoshi, hoping for some answers.

"Ugh… hi Yoshi." He said.

"Yoshi!" responded Yoshi.

"Do you know where the Princess might be?"

"Yoshi! Yo—" then Yoshi too, was sucked into a wormhole.

"I hate to do this…" Mario sighed, "But there's only one person left to ask."

And so Mario made his way back to his house. He saw Luigi, still hanging outside, now with his mouth on the ground, licking up what was left of his smoothie. He got up as Mario approached and spit out the dirt and ants from his mouth.

"Hey Luigi…" Mario said.

"Hey Mario!" said Luigi, "Are you here to listen to what I did this week?"

"No Luigi… listen, do you have any idea what's going on here?"

"Well, we did get this letter a few days ago, but I forgot to give it to you…" Luigi got out a letter and prepared to hand it to Mario, but then the wormhole claimed another. The letter fell right into Mario's hand. Mario read it out loud.

"Let's see… 'you have been invited to compete in the great tournament, Super Smash Bros. Brawly Melee'… Brawly Melee? What kind of stupid name is—" Then Mario himself was sucked up by the wormhole, which had just claimed its very last competitor from the Mushroom Kingdom.

To Be Continued?

**Author's Note:**

Holy crap, we really have been gone a long time, eh? Well even though we haven't been submitting, we HAVE been coming up with ideas, and even writing some of it down! And even though we probably lost all our fans (and hopefully most of the people that hated us) we see this as a chance to gain new viewers and just entertain and make people laugh. This is a story that I wanted to have 100% done before I started submitting it, but we figured you guys deserve a taste of things to come. And as always PLEAAAASEEE review and leave your comments; we simply crave your feedback and we want enough of it to bathe in!


	2. Chapter 2

**Super Smash Bros: Brawly Melee: Chapter 2**

The wormhole brought Mario, and everyone else, to a gigantic white table, as if they were trophies. Mario saw Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Wario, and many, MANY other characters from Nintendo, such as Kirby, Link, Pikachu, Zelda, Samus and many more. Suddenly a loud voice boomed through the area.

"Attention, competitors! Welcome to the great tournament, Super Smash Bros. Brawly Melee! I am your host, Master Hand! Today, you will all fight to the last person standing! And that person will be declared the winner of the Super Smash Bros. Tournament! Now, before the tournament starts, you will have one hour to meet your fellow competitors. You might find a valuable opportunity to make some allies! When this hour is up, you will be teleported to the battleground, which is a combination of all of your home lands! Good luck, brothers of the Smash!"

As soon as the voice went out, Link drew his sword and pointed it into the air. "Who wants to be on my team?" he called. Immediately, almost everyone in the crowd gathered behind Link.

"What?" Mario shouted, "Hey, c'mon guys? Doesn't anyone wanna be on my team?"

"Pssh!" said Link, "You may be the most popular character in Nintendo, but it looks like I got the most REAL fans!"

"What? You even got Luigi!" Mario said in shock, "… on second thought, keep him." Peach walked up to Link, excitedly.

"Oh, Link, you're so big and strong." She said giggling, "Can I touch your master sword?"

"Maybe later, homie G." Link said.

"Um, Link!" said Zelda, "What about me?"

"Hey, excuuuuuse me, Princess!" said Link sarcastically.

Mario was angry. "_Peach?_ I can't believe this!" he said.

"Believe it, Mario" Link taunted, "Nobody likes you! They'd pick me over you any day of the week!" Then Link and his huge crowd walked away.

"I can't believe this! Nobody wants to be on my team?"

"I'll be on your team, Mario." Came Bowser's voice from behind.

"Bowser?" Mario was surprised. "But why would you want to be on MY team? We're arch enemies!"

"Maybe in our world, Mario. But between everyone else here, you're the one I hate the least. If we can get through this together, I'll be fine being your arch enemy afterwards."

"Hmm…" Mario thought for a moment, "…Okay, Bowser. Consider us allies."

"Good. Then let's get going. The tournament is about to begin."

And so everyone got to their own platform and a buzzer rang. Everyone heard Master Hand's voice.

"The tournament is about to begin. The fighting begins when I say 'Go'! Do not leave your platforms before I say 'Go'. Remember, if you die, you lose. The platforms started to rise, and Master Hand began counting down. "Ten, nine, eight…"

The platforms brought the competitors through hatches and out onto the battlefield, which seemed to be a culmination of several major Nintendo landmarks, replicated detail for detail. Mario noticed Princess Peach's castle and an area that looked like part of the Mushroom Kingdom among them. Link saw a glimpse of Hyrule temple. Kirby took notice at what looked like a chunk of dreamland with a Whispy Woods tree. Fox noticed the Great Fox flying overhead, and he wondered if Slippy or Peppy were on board. In the center of all the competitors, however, there were crates, barrels, and bottles full of neat looking guns, swords, and other items.

"Five… Four…"

Falco was getting impatient. "This is taking too much time! I need to get some weapons, now!" Fox tried to stop Falco from leaving.

"Falco, NO!" Fox yelled. Too late; as Falco attempted to leave a giant blast was heard and a big explosion replaced Falco. Once the blast was clear, all that remained of Falco was a bunch of blue feathers drifting slowly back onto the ground. Pandemonium ensued.

"Holy shit! He's dead!" said one random competitor.

"Three… Two… One…" Master Hand's voice continued, "_GO!_"

Mario noticed everyone still distracted by Falco's death, which he figured would buy him some time. "Bowser, haul ass!" he yelled. Then Mario began hauling ass himself.

Mario only made it into the Whispy Woods chunk of Dreamland when he found himself abruptly halted by a cannon, attached to the wrist of none other than Samus Aran.

"Don't move, or I'll blow your head off." She said sternly.

"Holy shit," Mario said, noticing her voice "You're a girl?" Samus pressed the cannon closer to his head. Mario winced.

"People knew that since 1986, asshole. This is why no one is on your team; you're an inconsiderate prick!"

"Well, well, well" came a voice behind Mario. Link stepped out of the shadows. Mario had no idea he was there. "Mario, Mario, Mario. I must say you used that distraction well. Most of my team is still back there trying to figure out what's going on. But Samus here; she's got bird DNA. And me, well hey, I'm Link. We're just that good. So tell me, Mr. Nintendo All-star, how does it feel to lose within the first hour of the match?" Samus began charging her blaster.

"Wait Link, you don't want to kill me!"

"Oh, really? Why ever not?"

"There's someone here even worse than me! Look!"

Link looked over to where Mario gestured and saw none other than Sonic the hedgehog warming up, spinning around, and generally looking like an egotistical bigot. He said to himself "I'm too fast!" and "I'm way past cool." Link's eyebrows arched in an angry fashion and he grew a stone cold grimace upon seeing Sonic. At this point, some more of Link's posse joined them.

"Think about it, Link," Mario said, "He's a disgrace to even be here. Would it really be fair to kill off Nintendo's icon before Sonic the Hedgehog? Not to mention he's cheap as hell!"

Samus immediately stopped charging her blaster and lowered it from Mario's head. Link backed up from Mario and said "Okay, everyone! First we kill that blue bastard Sonic! Then we kill the plumber!"

And so Link's squad all raced towards Sonic, giving Mario a chance to escape, which he took immediately.

"You'll never catch me!" said Sonic. They caught him within seconds. All Mario saw as he looked back was bloody and chunks of Sonic meat flying off the hedgehog as he was slashed, burnt, shot, PK fired, iced, and pawnched into a quivering, lifeless bloody pulp. It didn't buy Mario a ton of time, but it was sure enough to get him out of everyone's sight. Soon Mario heard another voice.

"Hey, Mario! Over here!"

"Bowser?" Mario questioned.

"Shhh! Over here… I'm a ninja"

"Bowser!" Mario said, this time a lot quieter, "I've never been happy to see you before!" He walked over to Bowser, who was awkwardly hiding behind a tree that was way too thin to actually hide him from anything.

"Mario, if we want to survive, we need some weapons. I think we'll have a chance if we can get to Peach's castle."

"No," said Mario, "that's too obvious. They'll expect us to go there. We need to go somewhere inconspicuous, but it should be a place we know too…"

"Yoshi's Island?"

"Well, it's a little less conspicuous than Peach's castle, and if I can't get Yoshi to join us then we can probably just take him out easily... he's a low-tier character."

"I guess that's a pretty good bet. We better get going."

While Mario and Bowser started for Yoshi's Island, Link gathered his group in the center arena, where they began gathering weapons.

"Okay, everyone!" He said, "Mario and Bowser could be anywhere. Maybe they went to a Mario location, or maybe they thought that was too obvious and went somewhere else. So what we're going to is organize into smaller squads and hide around all the major landmarks. And when you see Mario, we ambush him. But don't kill him; I want you to save that part for me." Link put away his Master Sword and picked up a glowing beam sword instead.

"Oh, Link," said Peach, "You're so… strategic."

"Tell me something I don't know, toots." He said as he put an arm around her. Zelda glared at them in envy.

In a few hours, Link's miniature army had disbursed around the land, ready to ambush Mario. Staged to wait around the Mushroom Kingdom area was Ness, Lucas, Captain Falcon, Nana and Popo, Jigglypuff, Wario, and Pit. Since there wasn't much action, Ness and Lucas played baseball to pass the time while Captain Falcon took it upon himself to flirt with the ladies.

"So, you're like, a real race car driver?" asked Nana.

"Baby, you ain't never seen any race car driver like me!" the captain responded. Meanwhile, Wario was getting bored.

"Wheh!" he yelled, "When am I gonna get to do something! I need something to either eat or kill!" He started looking around. Then he found the two dimensional Mr. Game and Watch. "Wheh? Well I guess I can kill you."

Mr. Game and Watch was silent, but he got out a pan and flipped out a strip of bacon. Wario caught it in his mouth.

"Mmm, bacon!"

Mr. Game and Watch continued to launch Bacon into Wario's mouth. Wario didn't notice his body getting fatter and fatter as he inflated like a balloon. Meanwhile Nana, Jigglypuff, and Pit were all caught up with the glorious hunk of man that was Captain Falcon.

"So tell us what you can do with all that raw testosterone." Said Nana, totally hot for Captain Falcon.

"Well I can do this—Boom, wah, ha!" he said as he struck three different poses, flexing his extremely toned muscles. Pit felt guilty about how aroused he was getting. He felt more like a devil than an angel.

"Ooh, that's so… hot!" said Nana, "And it's not just because I'm wearing this jacket…"

"And I can do this thing called a Falcon Punch. It's pretty much the coolest thing ever."

"Oh, wow! Tell me more!"

"I can do better than that, honey. I can show you!" Captain falcon turned around to see a now massive-sized Wario! "Ah, here's something I can hit! Check it out!" He prepared himself. "Falcon…" he brought back his fist. "PAWNCH!"

Captain Falcon sent his fist flying forward into Wario's pudge. Time stopped for a moment. First the air compressed around them, then Wario exploded in a massive fart of thermonuclear proportions, which disintegrated Wario, Captain Falcon, and Mr. Game and watch on the spot. The entire area was flooded with blood and bacon bits, and the area was desomated for miles upon miles. If the rest of the group didn't drown in blood, then it was Wario's poison gas that killed them.

Mario and Bowser, who were now making their way along Donkey Knog's territory, only heard the boom, and weren't aware of the massive destruction that had just happened.

"What do you think that was?" asked Bowser.

"I don't know," responded Mario, "But I think we better keep moving. We might—"

Just then, Mario noticed the shadows of five figures looking over him. He made them out to be the Pokemon trainer, along with Chrizard, Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Pikachu. Another party Link sent out.

"Ha!" said the Pokemon trainer, "Link told me to let him know if I found you, Mario, but I think me and my boys can take you out on our own!"

The pokemon all stepped forward. Bowser and Charizard locked eyes, as a realization washed over them both. Mario noticed that they were both obviously surprised to see each other.

"Cousin Charlie?" Bowser asked in disbelief.

"Cousin Bowser?" Charizard said, equally as fazed.

"I haven't seen you in years!" Bowser was elated.

"I know! I missed you buddy!" Charizard seemed equally as happy

"Hey, why don't you come over to our side?" Bowser offered.

"Sure!" And so Charizard went over by Mario and Bowser's side. The trainer couldn't believe his own pokemon ditched him.

"Charizard, what the fuck!" he yelled. Bowser looked over to Charizard.

"You know what to do, cousin" he said with a grin. Charizard got a reptilian smirk on his face. The next six minutes Mario witnessed were some of the most disturbing, violent, animalistic, and cannibalistic feastings he had ever seen, as Bowser and Charizard chowed down on the Trainer and the other pokemon. Soon, only Pikachu was left, cowering beneath the two giant reptiles.

"Oh man," said Bowser, "I've gotta say, those pokemon were almost as good as the human's flesh."

"I agree," said Charizard, "That Squirtle was a little bit watery though. It got all over me!"

"Yeah, it even put your flame out."

"Huh?!" Charizard looked behind him to see that the flame on his tail had gone out. "Oh, no…" Charizard closed his eyes as life left him. The flame on his tail was essential to keeping him alive. As his legs gave way, he landed directly on top of Pikachu, reducing the rodent to a gallon of blood which spilled all over DK's docks.

"Rest well cousin…" said Bowser sadly, "Your death will not be in vein…" A single tear rolled down Bowser's cheek. Then he picked up Charizard's body and gently laid it to rest in the jungle river, where it was carried away by the river's flow. Mario would have given a salute to his fallen ally, but he was still too disgusted by the scene he had witnessed just minutes prior.

"Well, at least I got a good meal out of it." Said Bowser, already done mourning.

"Let's never talk about this again." Said Mario.

And so the two continued their journey, finding themselves even deeper in the jungle. They came across a wooden hut with a barrel as an outhouse. Mario picked up a faint sound coming from the outhouse.

"Is that… wimpering?" he asked himself. He slowly opened the door, defense high in case of an ambush. What he saw on the other end, however, was a blood soaked Lucas, wimpering in despair. "Whoa, what happened to you, kid?" Mario asked in shock.

"They're dead… they're all dead… my group… my best friend…" Lucas said as if he were in a trance.

"Whoah, okay, just relax!" Mario said, "Tell me how did it happen? What did this to you?"

"W-Wario… Falcon Punch…explosion… so… much… blood…"

"Explosion? I guess that was the boom we heard earlier. Anyways, you better come with us, kid." Mario extended his hand for Lucas.

"NO!" Lucas slapped Mario's hand away, "There's nowhere to go! There's nothing to do! There's no point anymore! It's over! It's all over!" Lucas took out a Smash Bros. Blaster and put the barrel in his mouth.

"No! Wait!" Mario tried to stop him, but it was too late. Lucas's brain was reduced to a bloody soup with fragments of his skull scattered all throughout the outhouse. Mario's eyes widened in horror as Lucas's corpse slumped over, while Bowser started laughing out loud.

"I'm sorry," said Bowser, "There's just something about little kids dying that just cracks me up."

"That's NOT FUNNY, you sicko!" Mario yelled. Suddenly, a loud apelike howl was heard. Down from the trees came Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong. Donkey Kong beat his chest and prepared to fight.

"Well, Donkey Kong, it looks like we've got a couple of intruders in our jungle." Said Diddy. Donkey just let out another animalistic roar. "I don't know if you two know this," Diddy continued, "but my pal DK here don't take too kindly to trespassers."

"Wait, Diddy Kong," said Mario.

"Don't tell me to wait," said Diddy, "my pal DK here is the one who'll rip your head off."

"Okay… DK," said Mario, "I know we've had our differences. But right now Link is sending his extermination squads all over the place to kill me and anyone who's not on his team. If we're not careful, Link will kill everyone here!"

DK looked completely unfazed.

"Your time's tickin', pal." Said Diddy.

Mario thought for a moment. Then he knew exactly what to say. "Plus… I heard that Link didn't want you on his team because he thinks you're dumb. Are you really going to just let him get away with that? I say you team up with us, and we'll show him he's stupid for thinking you're stupid!"

DK smashed the ground with his fist. "DK NO STUPID!" he yelled. Then he got behind Mario.

"Well, pal," said Diddy, "I gotta hand it to ya'. You won over my friend here, and us Kongs have got to stick together. We're right behind ya'."

"Great. We're heading for Yoshi's Island. Maybe you can lead us out of the jungle." Mario suggested.

"DK KNOW WAY!" yelled DK.

"Ya' hear that? DK know way." Said Diddy, "Follow the big man!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Super Smash Bros. Brawly Melee**

**Chapter 3**

The crew continued onward for some time, with DK confindently leading the way. Mario was getting a little nervous; they were out of the jungle now and away from DK's territory, but Mario decided to trust DK's confidence for a little longer. However, his surroundings were less than comforting to him; he was surrounded by old ruins and gritty grass. When he looked down in the distance he came to a grim realization:

"Stop!" Mario yelled, "This dumb ape led us right to Hyrule Temple!" Mario pointed down at the temple, where he saw Link, Samus, and Peach scoping out the area. "Hide!"

The crew all found hiding spots behind pieces of rubble, away from Link's view. Mario peered out a bit to see what Peach was doing. He saw her getting close to Link, acting flirtatious. Link gave her a pat on the head and she giggled flirtatiously.

Mario didn't realize that Zelda was watching the two as well. Her eyes may as well have been green with envy, just as Mario's must have been red with rage for this betrayal. Without noticing each other, they both simultaneously said "What a bitch!" They both jumped back a bit, then locked eyes.

"So," said Mario, with his fists raised, "You share my opinion?"

"Of course." Said Zelda, also in a fighting stance "I hate her!"

"Why though? You're on the same team."

"Yeah, but ever since she's joined us Link has been giving her more attention than me! It's like I don't even exist anymore!" Zelda said angrily.

"Well, Zelda," said Mario, "As much as I love hearing someone else say they hate Peach, I think Link is your real enemy here. Why are you staying with him?"

"Well…" said Zelda, "I guess because we were allies in Hyrule, and allies need to stick together."

"Zelda, my team consists of two of my worst enemies and one little shit. All my allies are trying to kill me right now. In this crazy tournament, anything goes. You shouldn't stand for this, Zelda. You deserve better. Come and join us." Mario extended his hand.

"I…you're right…" She reached out her hand and joined it with Mario's. "Thank you, Mario."

"Welcome to the team. You've joined the ranks of a plumber, a giant turtle, and a stupid monkey." Said Mario.

"DK NOT STUPID!" Donkey Kong boomed from behind his hiding spot.

The scream was enough to arouse the attention of Link and Samus. Link focused on the source of the noise for a moment, and then turned to Samus.

"Samus," he said, "Kill." Samus nodded and then started leaping toward the noise. She landed right in front of the group. "Aww," she mocked, "look who made some new allies! Too bad I have to kill all of you now; it could have just been the plumber."

"This might be it guys!" said Mario as he prepared to make his final stand. But suddenly, out of nowhere, a small green egg-shaped thing rolled right underneath Samus. It was a grenade, which promptly detonated. Bits of Samus's armour scattered all around. Her helmet rolled a bit and stopped at the feet of a stranger. Mario looked up to see none other than Solid Snake, who was lighting a cigar and looking awesome.

"Looks like I came just in time." He said, letting out a puff of smoke.

"Snake?" Mario was amazed, "I thought you would have been on Link's team for sure!"

"Heh. Are you kidding me?" he said in his usual gruff tone, "Did you see what they did to that blue hedgehog, just because he wasn't Nintendo? Could you imagine what they want to do with me?"

Mario played it cool, putting aside the fact that he convinced Link to kill Sonic to buy him time.

"Hey, Snake" he said, "We need all the help we can get, and there's power in numbers. How about you join us? We don't care that you're not Nintendo!"

"Your combat knowledge impresses me, plumber." Said Snake, who let out another puff of smoke "There is indeed power in numbers. Count me in." Mario and Snake shook hands.

"We better go now." Said Mario, "Link is probably zoning in on us right now." They all agreed and jogged away.

About a mile away and several minutes later, the Fire Emblem team—that is Marth, Ike, and Roy had just come across an interesting little man named Captain Olimar while waiting for Mario to show up. They had taken it upon themselves to surround the very frightened captain and taunt him.

"Hey guys!" said Roy, "I should stick my dick in him and see if he squeals like a pig! He sure looks like a pig!"

"Ugh, you're so nasty, Roy!" said Marth, "just kill him and get it over with. It's foolish to keep our enemies alive."

"No, shut up!" whined Roy, "you two never let me have any fun!"

Roy prepared to pounce onto Captain Olimar when suddenly Olimar picked a pikmin out of the ground and threw it at Roy. The Pikmin landed directly on his crotch and started devouring him. Olimar quickly threw more and more pikmin at Roy until he was completely covered!

"Help me!" Roy yelled, "They're eating my dick!" Roy ran around for several seconds before he collapsed dead and half-eaten on the ground, where the pikmin continued devouring his corpse like some sort of scavenging pack of insects.

"Shit!" said Ike, "Let's get him!" Ike took out his sword and slashed Olimar to the ground. Him and Marth then took turns stabbing him repeatedly, until they were completely certain he was dead. Marth looked down at Roy's corpse, which now consisted of little more than a skeleton and red hair that was still attached. "Are you okay?" he asked to Ike.

"Yeah… I'm fine."

"Thank God." Marth grabbed both of Ike's hands, "If something would've happened to you, I just don't know what I'd do!"

"Don't worry darling, nothing's gonna happen to either of us. We're gonna get out of this together, and we're going to be just fine." At this point Marth's hands had made their way to Ike's shoulders and Ike had his hands around Marth's body. The two men leaned in and kissed each other passionately.

"Holy shit, what the fuck!" They heard from behind the bushes. It was Mario's voice. They both turned to see Mario and his team come out of hiding. "I thought maybe you were gay Marth, but I didn't think it was for Ike! And I definitely didn't think Ike was gay for you too!"

"Shh! Mario," said Marth "please, we can't let anyone find out about this, especially Link!"

"Yeah, Link's fed up with getting called gay all the time and now he hates gay people. If he finds out he'll have us killed!" added Ike.

"Look," said Marth, "Just keep this to yourself and we'll take you wherever you want to go. We'll defend you from anyone who gets in your way, how's that sound?"

"We need to get to Yoshi's Island. Think you can escort us there?"

"Of course!" saud Marth, "We just need to go through the fountain of dreams and cross the Great Bay! Ooh, I love the fountain of dreams… It's so dreamy!"

"Just like your eyes, sweetie." Ike said while leaning towards Marth.

"Aww, why you sweet little thing!" Marth grabbed Ike by the hand.

"Okay, stop stop stop!" said Mario, "So can you get me and my team to the island, and keep the PDA to a minimum? It's not that I have a problem with you guys being gay, but some of the things you do are a little much."

"Oh, alright, we'll try really really hard, and we'll lead you there. Right honey pot?" Marth said, with Ike nodding in response.

"Okay, your secret's safe with me. What about you guys?" Mario turned to his team.

"Well I can't say I approve of their lifestyle," said Bowser, "But it's our best bet."

"They're totally cute together!" Said Zelda, "Maybe you two can be my GBFs if we don't all die!"

"D.K LIKE BANANAS! YOU TWO LIKE BANANAS! DK LIKE YOU TWO!" yelled D.K.

"Yeah, that's true," said Diddy Kong, "they do like bananas. Different kinds of bananas maybe, but whatever."

"Flaming homosexuals make great warriors." Said Snake, "Just look at the Greeks."

Mario turned to Marth and Ike. "Well, my team's in agreement. To Yoshi's Island!"

And so Mario's team, now joined by Marth and Ike set out for again for Yoshi's Island.


	4. Chapter 4

**Super Smash Bros: Brawly Melee**

**Chapter 4**

Night had fallen. The bright fiery stars pierced through the dark night sky, shimmering over the heads of the crew. Marth was leading, followed closely by Ike, then Mario, Bowser, the Kongs Donkey and Diddy, Princess Zelda, and Solid Snake. They were about to come to the Fountain of Dreams, one of the locations they'd pass on their way to Yoshi's Island.

"It's getting pretty dark," said Bowser, "I can barely see you guys!"

"Huh!" Snake grunted, "My combat training prepared me to see in nearly pitch black. This is nothing."

"Well that's good for you Snake, but it's dark to the rest of us!" Zelda retorted.

"Don't worry guys," said Ike in his oh-so collected tone, "The fountain of dreams is just up ahead. The fountain's water glows with a mysterious light."

"They say it contains the essence of all the world's hopes and dreams." Marth added.

"Who says that?" asked Mario.

"I can't remember," Marth admitted, "But I thought it was a nice idea so I went with it."

"Yeah, yeah," said Diddy Kong, "that's all fine and dandy, but when exactly do we get there?" Marth stopped, followed by everyone else in succession. "Everyone… close your eyes" he said.

"What is this, pal?" Diddy demanded.

"We are nearly there. Just close your eyes, and believe. Let the wonder of dreams flow through you, and when you open your eyes, you'll be at the fountain of dreams."

"Pal, I don't know what kind of happy gay drugs you've been smokin', but—"

"Just do it, Diddy!" Mario commanded in a stern tone. Everyone closed their eyes, with Diddy Kong doing so reluctantly. "Now guys, we should probably remember whose turf we're on. When we get there remember to watch out for—"

Mario's eyes opened. He was there, at the fountain of dreams. The glowing water trickled down from the fountain's pink bowl, covering the ground he stood on. Cosmic colored trees were planted around and there was nothing but the black sky and glowing white stars surrounding the area. He saw his team, all mesmerized by the unreal landscape, especially Diddy Kong, who ironically stood mouth agape and eyes glittering as he took it all in. Suddenly Mario noticed Doney Kong pounding his fists to the ground and letting out an apish roar. He followed D.K's gaze to two figures in the center of the fountain.

"…Kirby…"

Mario noticed the little pink puff ball was standing over something on the ground. He tried making it out. It was short and round like Kirby, but the contrast of the glowing water against them made it hard for Mario to make out the details. He did, however, notice something sticking off of the figure. After analyzing it he realized it was an armored shoulder pad with a cape hanging off. The figure on the ground was Meta Knight; dead, and already in a state of rigor mortis. Kirby looked down at his body, but there was no evidence that Kirby Killed him; in fact, Mario couldn't make out any signs of harm done to Meta Knight's body.

"What happened to him?" Zelda asked as she too took notice.

"I don't know." Mario said. Kirby took his attention off Meta Knight and looked over at the posse.

"We've been spotted!" said Ike. An exclamation point appeared above Snake's head. Kirby didn't move, but he opened his mouth and began sucking inward like an extremely powerful vacuum. Diddy Kong, being the lightest, was swept off his feet and went flying towards the beast.

"Argh!" He screamed.

"DIDDY NO!" Donkey Kong shouted. He threw his hand forward. Diddy put his hands over his eyes to avoid looking into the creature's vicious mouth. However, he realized he wasn't getting closer to certain death. He looked back and saw that Donkey Kong managed to catch him by the tail.

"Thanks big guy! You're always looking out for me."

"KONGS STICK TOGETHER!" D.K responded.

Everyone attempted to keep their footing, but Kirby began walking closer, making the suction of his mouth harder to avoid. Marth and Ike stuck their swords into the ground and gripped them to keep steady, while the others did their best to resist the force. Still, they found themselves slowly sliding towards the void that was Kirby's mouth.

"Marth!" Ike shouted to his lover, "If we go down, we go down together!" Marth didn't look back at Ike. He knew he had to act; this was his chance. He was almost out of time. He turned to Ike and shook his head. "Marth?" Ike yelled sharply.

"I'm sorry…" Marth stood up, letting go of his sword, and sticking his arms out to his side like some sort of gay Jesus. And he jumped, giving into the vacuum and diving towards Kirby.

"Marth! NOOOOO!" Ike took off running, but he had no chance of catching his lover. Marth's face was full of determination as he grew rapidly closer to Kirby's mouth. He went right along with the force. He seemed eager as he entered, and Kirby closed his mouth, freeing the others from the vacuum, and swallowing him whole.

Everyone was silent as they took in what had just happened. Nobody moved except Ike, who was still running towards Kirby. The short distance seemed to take forever. They wondered, why? Why would Marth just allow himself to be eaten? What would it achieve? Surely Kirby would have time to start sucking again before anyone could defeat him. They were all perplexed, except Ike. Ike was furious. He arrived face to face with Kirby, Raising his sword.

"Let him go! I'll slice you in two, I swear to God!" Ike screamed. Kirby looked up at Ike, his normally bright shiny eyes had suddenly become bleak and lifeless, like two pieces of coal. His pink complexion started fading to a paper-white. His mouth drooped as if it were melting off his face. In an act of desperation Kirby began shaking, trying to snap out of this condition. Every action was obviously painful for him. Finally, he spit out Marth, who skidded against the ground, and laid there. Kirby stumbled over to where Meta Knight was, and fell over, becoming equally as still, equally as rigid, and equally as lifeless.

"Marth!" Ike rushed over to his lover, who was now bloodied, bruised, and barely able to move. He kneeled down by his side and grabbed his hand.

"Ike… I'm so sorry…"

"No, Marth! You're gonna be okay! You're gonna get through this… we're going to be together…"

"It's not these wounds Ike… it's something else…"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I'm so sorry, Ike. When all this craziness started, I got with Meta Knight… he had Dreamland AIDS, and I contracted it… the disease, it's been attacking my hopes and dreams… there's no way I can recover."

"Marth… how could you do this? How could you do this to us?"

"I'm so sorry… I don't know what I was thinking. I wanted to make it up to you… I wanted the last thing I did to be saving your life. From inside Kirby I was able to infect him directly and kill him instantly. Ike… I have just one thing to ask of you… forgive me… please… forgive me…"

"Of course I forgive you," Ike said, tears flowing from his eyes, "Marth… I love you. Please don't leave me! We were supposed to be together forever…"

"I love you too Ike… and I will always be with you… my soul will always be with you…" Marth put his hand around Ike's head and Ike did the same to Marth. Ike leaned down and Marth leaned up. They shared one, long, final gay kiss. Marth wished it didn't have to end. He knew this was the last moment he would ever share with Ike. For what it was worth though, it was the best way to spend his last seconds. Ike gently laid Marth's head back onto the ground.

"I'll see you… in another life… Ike…" Marth said as he closed his eyes for the final time.

"Marth… Marth?" Ike leaned down and put his hand over his face, tears still flowing relentlessly, "No… no, no, no!"

Zelda approached Ike, wanting to comfort him. Diddy Kong attempted to put his hand on her shoulder to stop her, but ended up accidentally touching her butt because he was so short.

"Give him some time. He's just lost the most important person in his life, he ain't gonna accept your pity just yet. Oh, and uh, sorry about the butt thing."

Zelda nodded and stood back, eyes beginning to well up with tears. Mario put a hand on her shoulder, trying to offer her comfort. Bowser and Solid Snake simply bowed their heads at the loss of a great warrior and brother in arms. Donkey Kong wept and Diddy Kong took his hand. He imagined how it would feel to lose his best friend, and prayed it wouldn't happen.

Mario heard a noise. It sounded like a balloon inflating with small increments of air every fraction of a second. He turned to the source of the noise on time to catch King Dedede floating up from over the edge and landing in front of them.

"I do say," said King Dedede, "Why are you crying, purple-haired boy? This is the fountain of dreams! My dream was for someone to die, and so someone did! You should be happy, for my dream has come true!"

"You stay away from him!" Zelda yelled. The whole group formed a wall between Dedede and Ike.

"But I am a King! And I always get my dream come true! Now, I dream of some more dead bodies on this land!" King Dedede got out his wooden mallet. Suddenly, before he could go into battle, a steak of green and blue shot towards the arena. The thing plummeted into King Dedede, and the pompous penguin exploded into air and a thin rubbery material, as if he was a balloon. The figure got up and rubbed its nose, which was sore, as that was what punctured King Dedede.

"Luigi?" Mario confronted his brother, who was holding a mysterious glowing orb.

"Oh, hey Mario! Link said I have to kill all your friends and bring you to him. Oh, but first, do you wanna hear what I did this week while you were away?"

"How about instead you tell me why the hell you betrayed me for Link?" Mario demanded.

"Oh… well… I don't know, it just seemed like everyone else was doing it… Plus, he wears green!"

"Wow… just like you, Luigi."

"Mario," said Snake, "Can I request permission to kick this guy's ass?"

"Permission granted."

Solid Snake took out a bazooka and fired it at Luigi. But before it got to him, Luigi cracked the orb. Suddenly, Luigi began dancing, and a huge green force field surrounded Luigi and began growing. As Snake's rocked entered the force field, it began flying in an odd, zig-zagging pattern and then crashed on the ground. The group backed up, but Bowser was too slow. He got caught in the negative zone, and a flower began growing on his head. It got so big that it began crushing him.

"Bowser!" Mario shouted. "Everyone, get away from this thing. I'm getting my enemy back!" Mario ran into the force field while DK grabbed Ike and they all ran to the edge of the fountain.

"Mario' it's not worth it!" Bowser yelled, "Save yourself!"

"No, I'm not leaving you here!" Mario entered the force field and immediately started tripping on his own feet. With great challenge, he inched closer to Bowser.

"I'm your arch enemy! Why do you want to save me!"

"Because you're all I have left!"

"Huh?"

"All the people I used to call my friends are trying to kill me! As soon as they got the opportunity, they left me. They left me to join a guy who wants me dead! But you, you were there for me when I thought I was all alone." Mario managed to grab Bowser's Flower and drag him along.

"But before that, I always captured the Princess and forced you on adventures! You'd just let that all go?"

"Truth is, when I thought you were bothering me, you were actually saving me. You saved me from the truth all those years, Bowser. You made that two-timing bitch Peach seem like a girl worth having. You made my retard brother Luigi seem… well, I guess I always realized he was a retard... but when I had to go out on adventures, I never realized that it's the only thing that gets me out! Where would I be if it weren't for you? Rotting away in my room alone? Writing internet fanfictions that nobody reads? I gotta say it; you're the best worst enemy a guy could ask for. And you're the only friend I got!"

"Hey, what about us?" Diddy Kong called from outside the negative zone.

"Shut up!" Mario yelled back.

"I feel the same way, Mario. I live for our battles. It was never about the Princess. I only kidnapped her because I knew you'd come get her. I knew I'd get that fight at the end. I knew I'd probably lose, but the thrill was always there anyways!"

"Great, so we complete each other! Now let's get out of—" Suddenly a random jolt of energy crackled through Mario and he was stunned, barely able to stand. "Uggh… can't… move…"

"You got us close enough. Let me take you the rest of the way." Bowser said, grabbing Mario and charging out of Luigi's Negative Zone, tripping up a few times along the way. The two fell over as they got out, and the flower detached itself from Bowser's head. "Ah, finally!" he said, relieved to have the parasitic plant removed.

As the group found themselves stuck at the edge of the fountain overlooking an infinite fall, a miracle happened. The ground began rumbling, and up from the black abyss rose the Great Fox, with Fox McCloud riding on top!

"Looks like you guys could use a lift! Why don't you hop on?"

"Fox?" Mario questioned, "But I thought you were on Link's side. Why would you help us?"

"I changed sides. No time to explain now. I'm not gonna stay in this chaos too long, so make your choice guys!"

"We don't have a choice," Mario admitted, "Everyone, on the Great Fox!"

Mario's team hopped on, one by one, first Zelda, then Diddy Kong, followed by Donkey Kong. But Ike remained still, looking blankly at the now corrupted fountain. The once innocent dreamlike land had now become a place of violence and death. Ike's gaze was fixed upon Marth's now deceased body, in the inverted shadows of Luigi's negative zone.

"Ike, come on!" Mario yelled.

"I'm not leaving him!"

"Ike, he's gone, we have to go! You need to come with us. You must survive! It's what he would have wanted…"

"It's true," said Snake, "he wasn't just your gay lover. He was your brother in arms. And a brother in arms will give his life to save his fellow brothers before anyone else. He had honor, kid. Don't let his sacrifice be in vain."

"It's now or never, buddy." Said Bowser, "Do it for him. Do it for us."

Ike finally looked away. "You will be avenged, Marth… this I swear!" Ike and the three others ran and jumped onto the star ship.

"We're headin' out!" said Fox. The Great Fox, as if on command, blasted away from the arena, leaving Luigi all alone inside his field of negative energy. The force generated by the ship lifted the flower that had been stuck to Bowser's head in a gentle breeze. It floated over to Marth's body and settled right in his hand opposite his sword. Then Marth, along with the flower emitted a sparkling glow, and faded away from the mortal realm.


	5. Chapter 5

Super Smash Bros. Brawly Melee

Chapter 5

Bowser approached Mario as the Great Fox continued its voyage through the night.

"Hey, Mario." Said Bowser.

"Hey Bowser, what's up?"

"I think the others want you to go see what the deal is with Fox. We're just not sure why we should trust him."

"Well he saved our asses back there," Mario said, remembering his convenient entry, "But he did say he'd explain himself… but why does everyone want me to ask?"

"I think they see you as a leader. I mean, you have convinced everyone here to turn their backs on Link."

"They see me as the leader? Just this morning they didn't care at all about me."

"Yeah, but that's what leaders do. They gain trust fast, and they change peoples' minds. That's what you and Link are so good at. That's why you guys are number one."

"Gee Bowser, I never thought I'd hear this from you."

"Hey, I call them as I see them. I think the gang would agree."

"Thanks, Bowser! I'll go talk to Fox. Listen, I'm kinda worried about Ike still. Maybe see if Zelda can go talk to him for me. She's a princess after all, so I think she'll be best to comfort him."

"Will do."

And so Mario walked up to Fox, who was at the front of the Great Fox looking forward determined to reach his destination.

"Hey Fox, I have a question."

"Right, you wanna know what the deal with me and Link is, right?"

"Exactly."

"Well, it's like this. I joined Link's team because I figured, y'know, there's power in numbers. But my enemy Wolf also joined Link. We tried to work it out, but then he just went too far…"

"What did he do?" Mario inquired.

"The unspeakable… he stole my Land Master final smash!"

"He did not!" Mario exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yep, it's true."

"So what did you do?"

"Well, when he wasn't looking I got into my landmaster. But he noticed and jumped on top of it. So I set it to hover over a cliff and I jumped out, and let him fall to his death."

"So… Wolf is dead?"

"Yeah, and there's no way Link was gonna let me stay on his team after killing another member. So I figured I could help you guys out instead… it's better than being alone."

"That's great. We actually need to get to Yoshi's Island. I think Yoshi's staying there and we might be able to get him on our team."

"Well, that' the direction we're heading in. Hopefully Link isn't privy to your plans."

"Let's hope we'll at least have time to stock up on resources before he catches up to us."

"Well I think you're safe for now, so if your team wants to get some sleep now's a good time. I can stay guard; foxes are nocturnal. And you can trust me. Promise.

"Good deal." Said Mario, "I'll go tell the others."

Ike sat still, gazing at the stars, the wind blowing gently through his hair. By now the tears had left his eyes, but the impact of Marth's death still had him shaken. His sword was laid out, and he looked at it. It was brilliantly sharpened, and he was ready to plunge it through Link and all of his supporters. He didn't know why, but he felt like things would have been different if him and Marth had never joined Link in the first place.

Zelda approached him. He couldn't find the energy to look up at her, to see the sympathy in her eyes. He knew he would just begin crying again. Zelda took a seat next to him, and put her hand on his shoulder. Ike realized how distanced he had become; just the simple physical gesture sent a shock down his spine, but he quickly began to appreciate the comfort.

"I'm so sorry," said Zelda, "I couldn't even imagine what you're going through right now."

"It feels like part of me has died. Marth was everything to me. Now he's just… gone…"

"Marth loved you like no one else could. But I want you to know that I'm here for you. And so is everyone else. We all want to be your friends."

"I appreciate it, Zelda… I just can't show it. Whenever I think about Marth, I only feel sadness. When I think about anything else, I just don't feel anything. It's like I'm a hallowed tree."

"I completely understand. Given what you've been through and all this craziness around us, I'm sure those feelings are normal."

"It's not safe for any of us. I want you to know I do consider you guys my friends. And whatever happens in the coming days, I will fight for all of you. I fight for my friends."

"You just had to find an excuse to say that, didn't you?"

"Yep."

Zelda smiled, and Ike gave a slight smirk; the first expression he made since Marth's death. Mario and Fox approached them, as well as Bowser, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong and Snake.

"Okay, everyone," said Mario, "Fox explained everything to me. Basically, he's as against Link as we are, and we're en route to Yoshi's Island. Tomorrow we'll have to start preparing for a battle with Link and his team. But for now, we can rest. If you want some sleep, now's the time to get it in."

Sometime later, everyone was gathered around. Fox kept upright while everyone lay, staring at the sky. The force field keeping everyone in the tournament grounds began giving off a bluish sheen in one area, reminding everyone of the artificial environment they were in. Eventually the blue blur formed into text, which read "The Fallen" Everyone watched in silence.

The first image that came up was that of Falco, with his name displayed below. Fox gave a nod to his friend. Next was Sonic. Nobody cared. Wario was shown, followed by Captain Falcon, Mr. Game and Watch, Nana, Pit, Jigglypuff, Popo, and Ness. Mario still wasn't quite sure what exactly happened with them, he just knew it had something to do with a falcon punch and an explosion. After that was the Pokemon trainer, Ivysaur, Squirtle, Charizard, and Pikachu. Bowser remembered the tasty meal and the slight sadness over the loss of his cousin Charlie. Then Lucas, who violently committed suicide after barely surviving the explosion of Wario. Roy's picture and name were next. Then Olimar's. Meta Knight's was displayed, then Kirby's. Marth's was displayed, rekindling some of the residual pain within Ike, as he gave a solemn bow to his lover. Wolf appeared, and then King Dedede, ending the list. The blue screen disappeared, and the black starry sky was all that was left.

"With so many of Link's team dead or switching sides, we're pretty much evenly matched," said Mario, "I think we might actually have a chance."

The crew was hopeful, as they slept through the rest of the night, ready for this hellish nightmare to finally come to an end.


End file.
